"I was so happy we were finally doing it that I didn't care what it felt like."
Surely you've heard the old adage about how sex is kind of like pizza for men. Even when it's bad, it's still cheese and sauce and dough — you can only complain so much about pizza, right? But sex after childbirth is an entirely different category of sex. Depending on your body, level of exhaustion, and desire to get back into the swing of things, postpartum sex can be an uncomfortable — or even painful — challenge, or it can be super blissful and pleasurable. But how do the men in women's lives feel about sex after childbirth?
1. "I quickly learned that a doctor's approval doesn't mean anything if a woman isn't ready."
"When we got the 'OK' from her doctor six weeks after she gave birth to our first son, I thought we'd have sex that night. I mean, I wanted to have sex in the car on the way home from the doctor. But I quickly learned that a doctor's approval doesn't mean anything if a woman isn't ready — and my wife wasn't ready to try for another three months. At first, I was understanding. But, after a month and a half, I admit I started to put pressure on her because I felt like she was mind-fucking herself and kept telling me it was going to hurt and that she was scared. I was worried we'd never do it. One night, she had a glass of wine and told me to 'just get it over with,' which isn't the thing you want to hear, but I understood she was scared. We had missionary sex, I went really slow, and she made me stop when I was only halfway in — she said that was 'enough for now.' I felt terrible for her because I could tell it didn't feel good. I made sure to go down on her for a long time to make up for it." —Alex C., 29, Phoenix, Arizona
2. "She was breastfeeding and her vagina was really dry, like, not even the slightest bit ready."
"We both wanted to have sex, but we also really wanted to sleep more than have sex. A baby takes a lot out of you — it's insane. The first time we tried, it was a few days after her six-week checkup. She was breastfeeding and her vagina was really dry, like, not even the slightest bit ready. We stopped and decided to buy some lube the next day and try again. So we did. The lube helped a lot. I started by using one finger, then two, and then she climbed on top of me because she thought being in control would make it hurt less. We took our time and it was the slowest sex we ever had — but I was so freaking happy. I felt like we were back in the game." —Paul R., 34, New York, New York
3. "Her vagina was so tight I could barely fit."
"Sex after a baby is the worst. I'm not going to lie. It's scary. My wife had something like 12 stitches, and all I could think about after watching her give birth was, 'Holy crap, what if I hurt her vagina again?' I told her to let me know when she was ready and that I wasn't going to hound her. I think we did it the first time a few weeks after her last gyno appointment. I remember thinking it was going to feel loose, and I prepared myself for that, but her vagina was so tight I could barely fit. It was insane. But also, like I said, scary. We had sex in slow motion the first few times until we got more comfortable with it, and things got back to normal." —Anthony B., 35, Queens, New York
4. "It was more emotional."
"My wife blew me away when she became a mom. She was so natural at it, and I loved watching her take care of our daughter — it made me love her more, which I didn't think was possible. The first time we had sex after our baby wasn't wild or without a lot of stop and go (mainly because of the pain), but it was different in a really amazing way. I kept looking at her and all of these crazy feelings popped up for this person who was amazing me in new ways. It was more emotional." —Tom W., 36, Portland, Maine
5. "The first time we had sex was a lot like any other time."
"Maybe it's because we had sex throughout her pregnancy, like right up to childbirth, or maybe it's because my wife gave birth naturally and didn't tear or anything, but the first time we had sex was a lot like any other time. She was drier than usual and we probably spent more time on foreplay, but that was really the only difference. We were cautious the first time and only kept it to one or two positions, but by the second time we had sex, I remember reverse cowgirl was involved." —John J., 32, Los Angeles, California
6. "Her vagina didn't feel loose or anything ... but it did feel longer."
"Her vagina didn't feel loose or anything — I know that's the question everyone has — but it did feel longer, like I could fit myself and go on forever. It also felt different for her. For some reason, the front of her vagina felt more sensitive, in a good way, and she kept asking me to focus on that area. I don't know how childbirth changes the vagina, but it seemed to in our case — in a good way because my wife found different positions, like sideways sex, crazy pleasurable the first time after birth." —Dave J., 38, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
7. "I was so happy we were finally doing it that I didn't care what it felt like."
"It was great! I was so happy we were finally doing it that I didn't care what it felt like. But it felt exactly the same for me, maybe even tighter. My girlfriend said she was sore, but after a few minutes, she got more comfortable. We stuck to missionary the first time because we didn't want to press our luck, but missionary after months of not having sex was incredible. I wasn't going to complain!" —Michael Z., 30, Brooklyn, New York
You can see this article in : http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a9272635/what-men-think-about-sex-after-baby/