Scientific proof money can't buy taste.
I'm not a straight guy with a lot of money, but boy, howdy, if I were, I'd be calling the broker who commissioned this ridiculous three-minute "Red Band" trailer (!!!) for a fancy Beverly Hills house so fast.
Now, if you're wondering why footage of a house needs to be labeled as "Red Band," wonder no more — the deeply nuanced narrative journey can best be described as a Kmart version of Eyes Wide Shut, featuring a bunch of gilded women prancing around the property sexily, aka slowly and with fingers in their mouths. As advertised on the Vimeo page, OPUS (that's the name of the house, really) is Beverly Hills' most expensive property, and this trailer does nothing if not hammer home the taste and luxury that $100 million can buy.
(You can watch the video in : http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a9605393/100-million-mansion-los-angeles-sex-video/)
The trailer starts off with a bang: A woman in a strappy bra masturbates while wearing a VR set, only to seductively peel it off when an anonymous gilded woman (a recurring theme, you'll notice) crawls into bed with her. More gilded women wearing gold (expensive) chainmail and (expensive) studded jewelry toil about the infinity pool. Atmospheric shots of Beverly Hills (expensive!) are intercut throughout the video, with a fluid, sweeping motion not unlike that of drone footage (expensive!).
According to the Vimeo page, OPUS features:
- 2 massive bars, one of which has “Winestation” that preserves and dispenses glasses with the exact amount and temperature
Some questions: What is a "Winestation"? Is it different from a wine station? Is it just the wine version of a Hi-C fountain drink dispenser I clocked at the 1:08 mark?
Also included with the $100 million price tag:
- Gourmet Show Kitchen w/ iPad controlled Top Brewer coffee machine
- Longhi doors in suede and embossed leather
- Specially commissioned golden sculpture adorning the large motor court
Is this subversive film an Oscar contender? Is this a parody of ham-fisted eroticism or smart social commentary? Will Hollywood ever tire of the sexy-yet-silent robot trope? Are the 16 bottles of Hendrick's gin included? Will someone please tell men that not all women masturbate by bucking their spines against the sheets while chewing their cuticles?
Zillow, a real estate site great for stalking your crush's parent's mortgage that I've never used, promise, estimates that the property at 1175 N. Hillcrest is only worth $13,000,000, meaning there must've been some serious kitchen reno work done to justify the extra 0 needed to make it an even $100 million. That or the asking price is all for show. I don't know though; I don't get that ostentatious vibe from this place at all???
In conclusion, thank god there's that coffee machine included — I'll probably be up all night trying to figure this out.
You can see this article in : http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a9605393/100-million-mansion-los-angeles-sex-video/