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3 Women Get Super Honest About Deep-Throating

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"I practiced on a banana first. Thankfully, the guy was smaller than the banana."

Your knowledge of deep-throating may be limited to Watergate, or it may be your absolute favorite thing to do in bed. Here, three women get incredibly honest about their experiences with deep-throating during a blow job, from why they tried it and their best advice for others.

Tell me about the first time you deep-throated.

Woman A: I can't say when the first time was. How deep is deep-throat? It happened naturally — I kept trying for deeper and he actively facilitated in return.

Woman B: It was my idea. I did it at first because that's what I thought a girl was "supposed" to do when giving a good blow job. I wanted to be "good" and please my partner, so I gave it a shot. I practiced on a banana first. Thankfully, the guy was smaller than the banana.

Woman C: I don’t exactly remember the first time. It must have been with my high school boyfriend, we were each other's firsts and experimented with just about everything together (constantly!).

What made you want to try it?

Woman A: I got into it through a kink dynamic, because I feel safe with my partner and also have that strong desire to please them and push my boundaries. Oral sex really is sex in its own right, the feeling is making love to him with my mouth. It's giving a depth of myself to him, and he adores it and knows it's special.

Woman B: I liked the idea that I could impress my partner with my skills at giving head. Now, I enjoy deep-throating for many other reasons too. He says that part of my body is super soft and it feels great against the tip of his penis.

Woman C: I think deep-throating has just always come naturally to me. It happened one day and I never looked back.
What do you think the appeal of deep-throating is? For guys? For women?
Woman A: Same as the appeal of oral sex in general: the intimacy and depth. It's a wonderful expression of the strength/vulnerability dichotomy of sex in general, the sharing and swapping of power. It's a challenge.

What do you think the appeal of deep-throating is? For guys? For women?

Woman A: Same as the appeal of oral sex in general: the intimacy and depth. It's a wonderful expression of the strength/vulnerability dichotomy of sex in general, the sharing and swapping of power. It's a challenge.

Woman B: Most guys like to watch. Most guys are infatuated with their penis. When a woman deep-throats, it gives the guy a sense of control, power, and masculinity. There are times that I have deep-throated because I have been in a submissive role-play with my partner — the role turned me on.

Woman C: I think it's the same for men and women: it's about control. I’m sure a guy feels very powerful when he is being pleasured by a woman and he shoves himself all the way into the back of her throat. I feel the same way when I am giving a blow job and I hear a gasp or moan or a “holy shit” escape from a man's mouth.

Is it something guys ask for a lot?

Woman A: Ask straight off the bat? Not so much. They'll talk about my ability to do it, like when we're sharing various sexual experiences. They'll push for it while I'm giving them head, but if they keep being pushy, I'll probably end things. Encouragement is good, but angling for that as if it's all there is to a good blow job is just boring. I know what I'm doing; I don't need some dude convinced he has to check off the experience on a list.

Woman B: I've never had a guy specifically ask me to deep-throat him. However, I have had guys say that they enjoy that part of blow jobs. Personally, I think it is a dominance thing if a guy feels that deep-throating is a must. If this is the case, proceed with caution. Never do anything sexually with your partner that you don't want to do.

Woman C: I don’t usually give them a chance to ask because I am already doing it. In certain situations, like when you are in a Dominant/submissive relationship, it may be asked for more often.

How important is deep-throating to giving a good blow job?

Woman A: Not essential, but it really depends on the level of intimacy with the person or what mood you're in at the time. I find some days it's more difficult than others, so I won't do it, but my blow jobs are still top shelf, naturally.

Woman B: In my experience, most guys enjoy deep-throating but in no way find it necessary for good head. Most of the sensitivity for most men is at the tip of the penis. Some creative swirling of your tongue on the tip of his penis with a good amount of saliva and your hand is all you need to give a good blow job.

Woman C: Some guys are just too big to go that deep, but that doesn’t mean it will be a bad blow job. Just ask them to tell you what they like and do it. In the end, their penis is in your mouth — they are probably having a great time.

Do you have any advice for people who want to try it?

Woman A: Ease into it. Don't practice with anyone who doesn't let you go at your own pace. You can use a toy and practice alone, but a real person is always going to be moving around and the sensation is different. Concentrate on the placement of your tongue — we place our tongues instinctively and sometimes what you do with it will encourage the gag reflex, so focus on keeping it positioned in a way that doesn't.

Woman B: Don't ever let a guy make you gag if you don't like to gag while deep-throating or don't consent to that behavior. You are the one down there giving him pleasure. He should appreciate just the fact that you are there.

Woman C: Different positions work for different people. Personally, it is way easier for me if the guy is lying down and I am kneeling between his legs. But for one of my girlfriends, the only way she can do it is if she is lying on her back with her head off of the bed and the dude is standing. Just experiment with different positions and find what works for you. Practice makes perfect!

How do you stop yourself from gagging?

Woman A: Honestly, I don't know. Sometimes I don't [stop myself from gagging]. [I have] no idea how to prevent it, per se.

Woman B: Open your throat like you are yawning or taking a large pill.

Woman C: I don’t. I just let it happen. I mean, something is hitting the back of your throat, it's a natural reaction. All I worry about is not throwing up! Now that would be embarrassing.

Say a woman doesn't want to deep-throat. Is there something she can do instead to create the same sensation?

Woman A: No. It's a truly unique thing.

Woman B: She can use her hand or hands and a lot of saliva or flavored lube. Grip the base of his penis with one hand and glide the other up and down his shaft next to your lips like an extension of your mouth. Make your tongue swirl the sensitive tip of his penis or make it flat so that it feels like the back of your throat.

Woman C: Hmm … I can’t think of anything that would give the same sensation.

What are the biggest misconceptions about deep-throating, in your opinion?

Woman A: Same as with blow jobs in general, really — that it's always the guy pushing and the woman resisting, that it's automatically "bad" because it's uncomfortable to get right, that you'll definitely vomit ... but mainly, that it's a really degrading and powerless thing to do. Blow jobs are vulnerable for men more so than us. That's why they perpetuate such bravado and often misogynist swagger about them, to detract from the knowledge that we could literally maim them in the process. I mean, anyway, no sexual act is inherently degrading or powerless. If something's making you feel that way, it's about the person you're doing it with, not the act itself.

Woman B: The biggest misconception is that it is necessary for a good blow job. There are so many ways to use your hands and your mouth. Deep-throating is only one of those moves.

Woman C: That it is degrading to women. As long as you are having sex with a person that makes you feel safe, no sexual act, deep-throating or otherwise, should make you feel degraded, embarrassed, bad about yourself, or like you are not in control.

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